Happiness
Our preoccupation with happiness has come at the cost of sadness, an important feeling that we've tried to banish from our emotional repertoire.
It is lamentable that young people who are naturally weepy after breakups are often urged to medicate themselves instead of working through their sadness.
Both the happiness and anti-happiness forces actually agree on something important—that we Americans tend to grab superficial quick fixes such as extravagant purchases and fatty foods to subdue any negative feelings that overcome us. Such measures seem to hinge on a belief that constant happiness is somehow our birthright. Indeed, a body of research shows instant indulgences do calm us down—for a few moments. But they leave us poorer, physically unhealthy, and generally more miserable in the long run—and lacking in the real skills to get us out of our rut.
Our adaptability works in two directions. Because we are so adaptable, we quickly get used to many of the accomplishments we strive for in life, such as landing the big job or getting married. Soon after we reach a milestone, we start to feel that something is missing. We begin coveting another worldly possession or eyeing a social advancement. But such an approach keeps us tethered to the "hedonic treadmill," where happiness is always just out of reach, one toy or one notch away. It's possible to get off the treadmill entirely, by focusing on activities that are dynamic, surprising, and attention-absorbing, and thus less likely to bore us than, say, acquiring shiny stuff.
Happiness is not about smiling all of the time. It's not about eliminating bad moods.
What is happiness? The most useful definition—and it's one agreed upon by neuroscientists, psychiatrists, behavioral economists, positive psychologists, and Buddhist monks—is more like satisfied or content than "happy" in its strict bursting-with-glee sense. It has depth and deliberation to it. It encompasses living a meaningful life, utilizing your gifts and your time, living with thought and purpose.
It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in.
It's maximized when you also feel part of a community. And when you confront annoyances and crises with grace. It involves a willingness to learn and stretch and grow, which sometimes involves discomfort. It requires acting on life, not merely taking it in.
( Psychology Today)
Well boy howdy who isn't commenting on this sweet post?? I like it a lot. Yeah, why are we so afraid of negative emotions? When we fear them I think they control us more that way than if we allow ourselves to feel them and to look at them. But we need to feel them with responsibility, as in the why behind them so we can work on it. We don't want to be subject to our anger or sadness because we don't know whey they come over us. Thus the uncontrollable aspect that we fear.
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